The Awesomizer

Here’s a neat little thing the Catholic Church is doing nowadays … conducting “quiet” investigations of American nuns.

And why? 

Because *gasp* they have become shockingly secular!!! You know, like NOT wearing habits, and NOT living in convents, and NOT just giving up and letting the men rule the church without trying to say something about it … like this SHOCKING discovery about the organization the Leadership Conference of Women Religious: ”it appeared that the organization had done little since it was warned eight years ago that it had failed to “promote” the church’s teachings on three issues: the male-only priesthood, homosexuality and the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church as the means to salvation.”

How DARE they. 

Number One: everyone knows that MEN are the only people who have the God-given authority to be CLERGY! For heaven’s sake ladies, you should know that by now. Silly women can’t actually LEAD a church, can they? 

No way, dude … only pederasts in clerical collars should be allowed to do that.

Number Two: You’re not gay bashing enough … Sisters, come on. The church is not built on equality and service to the community. Silly gooses. Focus on making sure that there are people who are NOT allowed salvation. Make sure that those sick bastards know exactly how much God hates them.

Number Three: I think the first two points are an effective enough argument as to what needs to be done next regarding the primacy of the Church, don’t you think?

On a side note, with all of the other strife going on in the world, it’s comforting to know that the Church is spending time worrying about this one: The bishops said that Catholics should stop practicing Reiki, a healing therapy that is used in some Catholic hospitals and retreat centers, and which was enthusiastically adopted by many nuns. The bishops said Reiki is both unscientific and non-Christian. 

Since when is Catholicism worried about science anyway?

F^&*ING Reiki … what a bunch of heathens those nuns are … not to mention adopting anything “enthusiastically” … uppity women.

What it really comes down to is that women need to accept their role in the Church, which basically boils down to this: ”Shut up and take it. Let the Men handle it. Your job is to be quiet and make babies, and if you can’t handle that, become a nun.” Cut the  $h!t, and stop trying to take power and make decisions.

With that said, here comes the Truth with a capital “T” and the Science with a capital “S”.

Ladies … I think it’s high time for a revolt. Bring the Church down to its knees. There are enough of you out there, and it is time for you to stop taking the Vatican’s $h!t. 

Think about this … When the scandals came out that the priesthood was chock full of kid touchers, the Vatican initiated a giant cover-up. But when nuns get too uppity and start making decisions that go “against” the church, they get a “quiet investigation.”

And that, my dear friends, is a crock of horse shit.

I think that what needs to happen is the women of the Catholic Church need to rise against the Vatican boy’s club and bring the entire organization to the ground. Because what it has become is nothing more than a fag hatin’, holocaust denyin’, sexually repressive juggernaut, and that does no one any good … especially those who claim to believe in what the Catholic faith says it believes in.

When pederasts are allowed to be priests, and when it comes out that they’re pederasts, the Church helps cover it up, then HOW THE F%^K IS LETTING WOMEN AND MARRIED MEN BE PRIESTS POSSIBLY A BAD THING!?!?!?!?!? 

So stop taking the $h!t, ladies, and let the Men at the top know your full outrage and dissatisfaction … unless you like the way the Vatican treats you … and then never mind. Or unless you truly believe that birth control is Satan, and that women and gays are second-class citizens. If so, then get yourself to church on Sunday.

Otherwise, rise up … bring the Church down.

Stop attending mass … bring the Church down.

And for God’s sake stop tithing to fund the madness … and bring the Church down.

The nice thing about it being a boy’s club at the top is that the soft and sensitive parts are on the outside … one well placed kick should do it.